What Is Enlightened Self-Interest — And Why Should You Care?

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Although technology, society, demographics, and economies have changed greatly, some persuasive patterns remain remarkably unaltered by time.

The oldest method of getting someone to do something is to reward or punish, typically known as a “carrot” or a “stick.” Common business incentives include an increase in compensation, recognition or responsibility.  That’s the “carrot” side of this equation; the “stick” side involves punishing someone for either doing or not doing something. Pay is docked, participation in a project is cancelled or the highly anticipated business trip is withheld.

Rewards and punishments are largely considered coercive actions. The moment you remove the coercion (the carrot or the stick), the coerced individual regresses to previous behavior. Long-lasting career success requires real agreement, not a momentary nod.

Another age-old approach to attaining buy-in is through normative means, or via the “norms” of a group. As in, “all the kids are doing it.”

This is a very difficult way to reliably achieve agreement because people are so mercurial. Today, you must be savvier than ever in your approaches to persuasiveness. And the savviest approach of all involves appealing to your target’s enlightened self-interest.

The concept of enlightened self-interest is largely attributed to 19th century French economist and social observer Alexis de Tocqueville and his landmark work, Democracy in America.

de Tocqueville’s idea involves doing things that are positive and right (profitable and ethical, in other words). If it’s positive for you (your increased income, your professional status, strengthening your organization), positive for other parties involved (your target and your target’s organization) and positive for the larger whole in which you operate (your industry or your community), then why not do it?

Self-interest can be good; enlightened self-interest is tremendous.

Appeal to the enlightened self-interest of others and prepare to hear “yes” again and again.

How to Make Yourself A More Interesting Sales Professional

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As a salesperson, you want to – nay, you need to – engage with prospects. The problem is that many go about this process in completely the wrong way. Most salespeople, in an attempt to quickly establish rapport, will ask innocuous personal questions: “Do you play golf?” “Do you like fishing?”

At some point, you may have conversations with your buyer that include those exact questions. But if you’re looking to boost sales results, that kind of banter should be saved for later. So should talking endlessly (and usually aimlessly) about yourself. Instead, ask provocative questions about your buyer’s opinion regarding the business at hand. Here are some B2B examples:

  • “How will the recent drought in the Southwest affect your expansion plans?”
  • “Will the bankruptcy filing of your competitor’s transportation unit have any consequences for your organization?”
  • “How might the new financial regulatory reform impact your business?”
  • “Will the continued elimination of land-line phones in favor of mobile phones alter your marketing campaigns?”
  • “How will the closing of the London office impact your division?”
  • “What do you like about what’s going on right now in your industry (or your organization)?”
  • “What would you change if you could?”

Note that these questions can be categorized as either current events or related to competition, government regulation, social trends, organizational issues or experience. With a little intellectual effort, you can apply the same model to retail sales. As you might suspect, I’ll provide examples about selling motorcycles.

  • “Do you think we’ll ever see ‘green’ motorcycles? You know, environmentally friendly bikes? (Not ones that are actually green.)”
  • “Have you seen the new model the other guys just introduced?”
  • “Would you endorse hands-free mobile devices for motorcyclists?”
  • “Have you been to our newest location on the north side of town?”
  • “What do you like about our dealership?”
  • “What do you wish we would do differently?”

These questions will do more to accsellerate your sales than any personal questions about golf, or fishing or family vacations.

First of all, these probing, thought-provoking inquiries provide you with important details about what your prospective buyer is thinking and how you might be able to help him make up his mind. But even more importantly, they make the buyer think more highly of you, because you’ve asked questions that were out of the ordinary, questions that prove you know what’s going on in the industry and the world.

They probably will boost your credibility, too, because you’re asking for buyers’ opinions – a strategy that suggests their opinion is most important, not yours. After all, if you’ve got the good sense to ask for my opinion, I can’t help but like you. It’s as immutable as the law of gravity.

Five Ways to Influence Your Peers at Work

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Now that we’ve addressed persuading superiors and subordinates, there remains one last group of targets to address: your peers. This is known as “influencing sideways.” Peer pressure is among the strongest of all propulsions in the workplace (and elsewhere). How can you leverage it? Here are five ideas:

1. Cultivate favors by doing favors.

You can make people “offers they can’t refuse,” because they are obligated to you. But this requires you to do well by others first, creating — say it with me —reciprocity. A quid pro quo. Whose quid and whose quo can be worked out later. People respond to obligations.

2. Link agendas.

Strive to forge common goals in an attempt to initiate persuasion. Employees at a tech startup, for example, might think they serve two very different customers: the hardware providers and the end users. But there clearly exist areas of overlap, such as eye-popping graphics and the goal of seamless integration. Find the common areas of fulfillment with peers to then share ideas and resources. These may involve people, money, information or facilities. The cost to you is minimal; the effect potentially substantial.

3. Leverage loss aversion.

This may sound harsh, but leveraging the aversion to loss is a key factor in navigating peer pressure. Helping peers feel protected from loss of status, talent, income and market opportunities can significantly impact your desired outcome. Allow people to see that your intentions are comforting, not threatening, and they’ll remember.

4. Covet your credibility.

The fastest path to “yes” is your credibility. The more your peers can rely on your past behavior, track record, honesty and commitment, the more likely they will be to accept your claims, offers and pitches. Reliable inertia takes over when your peers have experienced positive outcomes with you in the past.

5. Be fair.

Ensure that, in reality and in perception, the support you seek is not unilateral. Make it clear and obvious that no one (most importantly, you!) is taking advantage of anyone else. Insist on establishing a win/win dynamic.

Influencing Down: 7 Ways to Convince People Who Answer to You

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Your ability to influence multiple people can take many different forms, requiring you to “influence up” (your boss, shareholders, a client’s president) and “influence down” (your department colleagues, a new hire, a contracted employee).

In a previous post, I presented seven ways to influence up. Now, let’s look at the opposite of influencing up, which is influencing down the hierarchical ladder. You don’t want people merely following orders or feeling coerced, because you’re likely to attain compliance but not commitment. Instead, you want enthusiastic supporters who demonstrate innovation and passion for their work and the outcomes.

Here are seven ways to influence down (which, like influencing up,  also work well in individual persuasion situations):

1. Use your “home field advantage.”

Your office is the perfect place to persuade, especially if you and your targets are surrounded by your honors, awards and diplomas — which subtly show the power of your position. Showcase your authority and remain more comfortable than anyone else in your own surroundings. (Obviously, if you work in a cubicle or you’re pitching a large group, you’ll need to find an alternate location. In that case, a neutral space such as a conference room or an offsite location might work best.)

2. Avoid condescension at all costs.

Treat everyone as a rational adult by never implying a concept or topic is above someone else’s “pay grade.” Keep your voice confident, low-pitched, and professional, and avoid “up talk” at the end of sentences (ending the sentence on a higher pitch than you began, making declarative statements sound like interrogatives).

3. Be brief but not abrupt.

Make and take time to entertain questions. Pay as much attention and invest as much time as you would if you were influencing up. Don’t expend less energy simply because people have lesser positions.

4. Leverage honest ingratiation.

In other words, sweet-talk your targets: “Your team has an exceptional track record with this marketing campaign, and I’d like your support in taking the initiative to the next level, because I know you guys can handle the added responsibilities.” If you’re honest and sincere, this is a fine tactic. If you’re neither, then it’s merely manipulative and will be unethical, ineffective and perhaps even counterproductive.

5. Request input.

Don’t just ask for positive feedback, but invite negative comments, too, about what weaknesses your targets can detect in your pitch: “What do you see as the main vulnerabilities of this marketing plan?” It’s far more effective to elicit views regarding both sides of the issue rather than blindly believing your idea is perfect (or at least the only option).

6. Give targets an opportunity to contribute.

Explore how latitude of action and independence could help sway opinion: “We need someone to organize the database, work with the agency on calendar issues and write the sales force communication. Which of these tasks would you most prefer?” In fact, application of talents and recognition for accomplishment are two of the primary motivators in the workplace. Why? Because people love autonomy. Incorporate that need into your plans whenever possible as another way of appealing to others’ self-interests.

7. Don’t micromanage.

I call this approach allowing “freedom with fences.” You delegate to subordinates all the time with the intent of reducing your own labor intensity, and the same dynamic applies here. Set aside some time to provide feedback, of course, as well monitor results and fine-tune, while still remembering that autonomy often drives employees. (Feedback isn’t necessarily something all employees want, but it’s something you should know they need.)

Moving Up: 7 Ways to Influence Important People

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Your ability to influence multiple people can take many different forms, requiring you to “influence up” (your boss, shareholders, a client’s president) and “influence down” (your department colleagues, a new hire, a contracted employee).

In this post, I present to you seven ways to influence up — which, incidentally, work well in individual persuasion situations, too:

1. Speak the language.

How do your targets view their work and their environment? Do they talk about market share, return on investment, return on equity, risk mitigation, competitive advantage, market intelligence, shareholder value, stakeholder opinion, media response, or global presence? Try casting your arguments in your targets’ language. In other words, interpret your goals for acquiring increased development funds in terms of higher market share and make a case for achieving a strong ROI in a brief timespan.

2. Deal in evidence, not opinions.

Assemble the facts and remember that we’re talking about rules, not exceptions. The phrase “the exception proves the rule” means the hare beats the tortoise 999 out of 1,000 times. Frequency of occurrence helps support facts and separate anomalies. Make sure your points are evidence-based and unassailable.

3. Focus on solutions.

Don’t threaten people with an inquisition. Seek ways to rectify and reconcile so that everyone finds the solution satisfying. 

4. Concision.

Don’t tell people everything you know; tell them only what they need to know. You need your targets’ attention, not their captivity. So ensure that you can succinctly state your case in a minimum number of words and allocated amount of time. Which brings us to…

5. Manage the clock.

If you end a meeting 10 minutes early, nobody is going to complain. But if you’re running over the allocated time by two minutes, people will rapidly lose interest — even if you held their undivided attention three minutes ago. To avoid that, work backwards, allowing the final 10 minutes of a designated timeframe to be used to develop consensus, determine next steps, set times and dates, and allocate accountabilities. These are busy people, and they have other places to be and people to see.

6. Stand your ground.

Maintain the courage of your position, meaning that while you should remain open to other views and even criticism, don’t back down in the face of strong opposition or peer pressure. People are most prone to follow both formal and informal leaders who can take the heat and lead the way through ambiguity and resistance.

7. Relish the contrarian position.

“Yes men” are abundant in organizations, and they usually attempt to side with the status quo to remain in the boss’s good graces. If you want to truly succeed at persuasion, be willing to stand out and be identified as someone with ideas that don’t adhere to the overused slogan, “That’s how we’ve always done things.”

These best practices to “influence up” are based on boldness and brevity, which strong senior people tend to appreciate and respond to positively. Remember, the people with whom you are dealing in group persuasion environments are paid to achieve results, and the quickest, most obvious roads to that success will strike harmonious chords. So make your case in their language with an outcome-based focus in as brief a time as possible.

How to Win an Argument

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The next time you find yourself bracing for an argument, let it go.

Why?

Because persuasion ends the moment arguing begins. All of a sudden, the objective becomes focused on “winning,” and that’s when you’ve already lost.

To prove this point, a group of researchers led by Emory University psychology and psychiatry professor Drew Westen studied functional magnetic resonance images (fMRI) of both Democrats and Republicans as they responded to messages from their preferred candidate during the 2004 U.S. presidential election. Specifically, Democrats were shown videos of self-contradictory remarks made by John Kerry, while Republicans were shown self-contradictory remarks from George W. Bush. Both groups of participants tended to dismiss the apparent discrepancies in a manner that demonstrated bias toward their favored candidate.

“Everyone from executives and judges to scientists and politicians may reason to emotionally biased judgments when they have a vested interest in how to interpret ‘the facts,’” Westen told ScienceDaily.com after his research was presented in 2006.

When your persuasion attempts reach that point, logic and reason flee your target. Whatever you say after that point of no return will be moot, unless you can steer the conversation back to a rational and legitimate discussion.

So how do you win an argument? Don’t let one start.

How to Tell Better Stories and Convince More People

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Now that you know what works and what doesn’t work when crafting situational persuasion success stories, consider ways to enhance and customize them.

In business, you typically apply the powers of persuasion to accomplish one or more of the following: You want someone to buy your product, agree to your new idea or take you up on your offer. This can apply to customers and clients, colleagues and rivals, and members of the media or other organizations. So focus on creating situational persuasion success stories that seek to improve internal communication, boost your brand and explain why your way — whatever way that happens to be — is best.

Concentrate on who you helped (with that client’s permission, if you’re using actual names) and what you did — not how you did it. If you focus on “how” (“We’ve helped ABC Corporation convince investors this company is the real deal by increasing fourth-quarter revenue by almost 55 percent, crafting new closing tactics and tracking accountability.”), your target might be thinking, We already tried those things, and they didn’t work. As a result, he’s mentally checking off reasons why you won’t be able to convince him and his company.

Instead, mention what you did, with whom, and share the credit: “We’ve helped ABC Corporation convince investors this company is the real deal by increasing its fourth-quarter revenue by almost 55 percent. The firm has credited our insight with identifying and taking advantage of new opportunities. We think its willingness to partner and collaborate made the results possible.” The likely response from your prospect: “Can you do that for me?”

Just remember: In order to convince, you need to be convincing.

You must exude confidence without seeming arrogant, and know when to stop talking and let your story sink in.

Experiment with the ideas I’ve shared in recent posts by developing your own situational persuasion success stories. Then you’ll join a long and, well, storied tradition of communicating via storytelling.

Storytelling Stumbling Blocks: Why Saying Too Much Complicates the Persuasion Equation

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In previous posts, I introduced what I like to call “situational persuasion success stories.” These are pre-created retellings of how you previously helped improve someone’s condition in given situations. This elevated skill set can yield tremendous results in your persuasion efforts.

Just as dynamic situational persuasion success stories require certain elements to work, they also need to steer away from these four stumbling blocks:

1. Too much attention to detail.

What’s wrong with this story intro?

“Wait until you hear what happened to one of my colleagues, Jason! It was last Thursday — er, no, Wednesday. No, OK, it was Thursday. He called me around 10:30 in the morning; no, it was really closer to 11, and … .”

You’ve lost your listener at “er.” It doesn’t matter what day of the week it was or what time of day. If it’s not absolutely crucial to the story, no one really cares. Make your point, and keep moving.

2. Too disjointed.

Try following this story:

“I had one client recently who wanted to go ahead with a particular project. Well, it was a problem at first, because he didn’t think his company could afford it. But now he’s glad he partnered with us for the project. See, the company was just a small start-up eight years ago, and then they ultimately went with our best offer … .”

If, in your situational persuasion success story, you flit from you convincing the client, to the client having a problem, to that company enjoying the results of your efforts, to how you helped solve the problem, your story won’t go anywhere. Consider first introducing the character (a client), then the dilemma, then how you helped solve that dilemma, and finally, how the client is now living happily ever after.

3. Too long.

If you’re talking for more than 15 or 20 seconds at one time, stop. It’s as simple as that. 

4. Lacks authenticity. 

Make sure your situational persuasion success story doesn’t appear corporately vetted or brand-controlled. Today’s consumers are very cognizant of ideas being packaged. If people hear nothing but about how great you are, they will lend less credence to that information — and to you.

How are your situational persuasion success stories evolving?

 

Storytelling 101: Five Ways to Persuade (Part I)

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Storytelling is one of the oldest, most effective forms of human communication. Long before Twitter, Facebook and even the printing press, humans informed and instructed others via stories for thousands of years.

Why has storytelling as a communication art form stood the test of time? Because it’s compelling. Just try listening to only half of Jim Croce’s “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim,” Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” or Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle.” It’s almost impossible. Even if you’ve heard those songs before, you still want to know how the story ends.

Stories also can be instrumental in helping you convince others — a colleague, a potential customer, maybe even a complete stranger in an elevator. I call them “situational persuasion success stories.” These are pre-created retellings of how you previously helped improve someone’s condition in given situations. This elevated skill-set can yield tremendous results in your persuasion efforts and will accomplish five things. You will:

1. Create a nonthreatening way to share information.

In many persuasion situations, your target can be on hyper-alert, wanting to avoid feeling uninformed or ambushed. And if the conversation is focused on him or her, personal defenses are often heightened. But if you attempt to make your point with a story that does not involve the individual to whom you are speaking, it’s much easier for that person to relax and focus on the discussion.

2. Allow your targets to insert themselves into the role of your situational success story’s main character.

The best situational persuasion success stories are ones in which the main character is someone other than you or the other person. Inserting yourself into the lead role could send the wrong message — suggesting that you are self-centered and your story is contrived. So don’t be the hero in every story; make the main character someone else, such as a friend or colleague.

3. Make the discussion an effective one.

Everyone enjoys a good story now and then, and situational persuasion success stories contain three subtle yet distinct objectives: to inform, to educate and to persuade. When you inform someone, you make that person aware; when you educate, you bring about understanding; and when you persuade, you enable the other person to embrace a particular point of view. Yours.

4. Provide a “social proof” component.

As one of my professional heroes, Robert Cialdini, Regents’ Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Marketing at Arizona State University, claims, “We follow the lead of similar others.” When we hear that “all the kids are doing it,” that has a profound impact on us. Using situational persuasion success stories leverages this idea of social proof, or informational social influence, and makes what you’re talking about even more convincing.

5. Break through the surrounding informational noise.

In his book, Data Smog: Surviving the Information Glut, author David Shenk states that the average American in 1971 encountered 560 daily advertising messages. By 1997 (the year Data Smog was published), that number had swelled to more than 3,000 per day. And the Newspaper Association of America proclaims that now the average American is exposed to more than 3,000 advertising messages before breakfast. There’s a lot of noise out there; to cut through it and convince someone to listen to you, you must have a compelling story to tell.

Sharing stories is a critical component of the Persuasion Equation, which is why next time, I’ll share elements and examples of compelling situational persuasion success stories.

Do You Know the Difference Between ‘Persuasion’ vs. ‘Influence’?

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Last year, I wrote a book about persuasion, in which I stressed that we all use principles of persuasion daily in our personal and professional lives. But what, exactly, does “persuasion” mean?

It’s a question I bet most of you haven’t spent a lot of time asking yourselves. “Persuasion” is ethically winning the heart and mind of your target. Whether you want someone to buy your product, agree to your new idea or take you up on your offer — if you are seeking a “yes,” you are engaged in persuasion.

“Influence,” on the other hand, can be defined as the capacity to become a compelling force that produces effects on the opinions, actions and behavior of others. Think of influence as your professional and personal credibility, your organizational political capital, your corporate “sway.” If persuasion is an action, influence is a state or condition.

Persuasion is not psychological manipulation, nor does it involve using bribes or trickery to get what you want. You should always be operating with the best interests of your target in mind.

Could you use persuasive tactics in a manipulative and self-serving manner? Sure. Will you reach agreement? Absolutely.

But only once.

After that, your persuasive powers are dead. Manipulation does not help build long and lucrative careers.

(Photo by Gratisography)