12 Better Ways to Use Your Language Skills

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Superior language skills build the confidence to engage and persuade more people. Here are 12 ways to put those skills to work while convincing others that your way is best:

  1. Teach the vernacular of your business to others, and they will feel more included in the overall experience.
  1. Use the language of your industry to give you “insider’s prestige.”
  1. Recognize that a superior grasp of language is one of the dominant factors in sales success.
  1. Use language to generate empathy.
  1. Lose the tired questions (“Do you play golf?”) and replace them with interesting ones (“How will the recent fires affect your expansion plans in Canada?”). You’ll be more interesting to your buyer and learn crucial information.
  1. Control conversations by strategically including terms like “recommend,” “suggest” and “advise.” Others will follow your lead.
  1. Use permission questions to soften your approach: “May I ask you a question?”
  1. Use adjectives to make your descriptions more vivid: “elegant design” and “compelling point.”
  1. Find relevant examples to prove your points.
  1. Metaphors, similes and analogies remain the bedrock of effective language skills.
  1. Use appropriate language; slang coming from an executive sounds silly.
  1. Practice saying things three different ways. Think basic, intermediate and sophisticated. To that end, I hope you found this blog post helpful. I anticipate you will find instructive ways to implement this material. And perhaps I have assuaged your anxiety about speaking more eloquently.

Click Tricks: How to Write Effective Email Subject Lines

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Arguably the most persuasive element of any email is the subject line. You must treat the subject line the same way you would an initial handshake; it may be your only chance to make a first impression.

And just as a handshake can linger a tad too long, keep the subject line brief, indicating why your message is worth the reader’s time.

There are multiple ways to do this. In his book To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, New York Times-bestselling author Daniel Pink reports on research that determined people open emails based on three factors: utility (opened because the recipient has something to gain or lose), curiosity (opened because the recipient is, well, curious) and specificity (opened because the recipient knows exactly what he or she is getting once the message is opened).

To that end, craft your subject headers to fall into one of the following five categories:

  1. Descriptive: Free Estimates, Free Installation — Throughout 2016!
  2. Fast Fact: More Than 95% of All Adults Don’t Exercise Every Day
  3. Provocative: New Airless Tire Can Take a Bullet
  4. Rhetorical: Are You Tired of Being Left Outside?
  5. Nearly Naughty: Let Us Show You How Much We Love You

Also keep in mind to whom you’re sending the email. The above examples won’t work if you’re crafting internal emails for your colleagues. So try something like this:

Needed: Content Marketing Ideas for Wednesday’s Meeting

Right away, you’re establishing a need that you would like staff members to fill.

Regardless of your intended email recipient, a compelling subject header communicates the bottom line of your message before it’s even opened.

How ‘Thank You’ Can Boost Your Persuasive Power

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Nothing is more powerful in the world of B2B or B2C sales than a face-to-face encounter between a satisfied customer and a credible sales professional. This is the kind of human exchange in which influence can be wielded for the good of both individuals. When a customer or client says “thank you,” for example, you must be able to leverage those words — or risk blowing a major opportunity to take that sales relationship to a higher level.

Here are three things to do when you hear “thank you”:

1. Don’t waste words.

What’s typically the first thing out of your mouth when a customer thanks you? “No problem. That’s why I’m here.” A coworker thanks you for your assistance, and you say, “Sure, it was easy.” A supplier sends a note of appreciation, and you leave it at that. Not only are these relationships not furthered, but you actually also may be damaging them with the responses you give — or don’t give. Making someone feel unappreciated, incompetent or unworthy of a response is a surefire way to not increase your influence.

2. Drop the arrogance act.

Another potential problem is when the thank-you exchange is framed in such a way that the other person feels like he or she has just done a favor for Vito Corleone (“Someday I may call upon you to do a service for me.”) If you respond with a defiant, “And now you owe me one!” you’re just asking for animosity and opposition.

3. Rethink your response.

So how can you avoid under-responding or overreacting to a “thank you”? By using influential language. Robert Cialdini, author of the seminal work Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, suggests saying something like this: “My pleasure, because I know if the situation were reversed, you would have done the same for me!” Then watch as the other person nods furiously in agreement.

That’s how you use language to expertly and subtly earn a “chit” — an informal influence credit. Practice this approach until you’re comfortable using the language of Cialdini or similar language you develop on your own to create compelling yet conversational and influential exchanges.

(Photo by Gratisography)

How Apple, Lexus and Harley-Davidson Can Help You Persuade

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Think about why the Apple, Lexus, and Harley-Davidson brands have such magnetic appeal. Why do consumers so unequivocally believe in them and profess unwavering loyalty to them? Because those objects conjure emotions that convince buyers the iPhone 6S, the LX and the FLHXS Street Glide Special are in some way superior to competing products.

In essence, they represent the epitome of “cool” in their specific product categories as perceived by their particular (or potential) users.

Researchers Caleb Warren, assistant professor of marketing at Texas A&M University, and Margaret C. Campbell, professor of marketing at the University of Colorado, Boulder, conducted six studies to determine what makes consumers perceive brands, companies and even people as “cool.”

Published by the Journal of Consumer Research in 2014, their findings suggest that individuals gravitate toward objects of autonomy, meaning that the companies behind those objects eschew pre-existing norms or status quo expectations in pursuit of their own vision. “Although cool brands are typically desired, coolness and desirability are not the same thing,” Warren and Campbell wrote. “Consumers prefer cool brands only when they want to stand out rather than fit in.”

When your persuasion situation involves an idea focused on a specific brand or product, recognize that the emotions conjured by that brand or product can create an irresistible urge in your target’s mind to say “yes.” Part of the work has already been done for you.

Killer Credibility: 7 Ways to Achieve It, Keep It and Win It Back

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What can I do to improve my credibility? It’s a question I’m asked a lot, and there is more than one correct answer. In fact, here are seven ways to build and keep — and, if necessary, win back — credibility:

1. Dress better. Let’s face it: We all are in the image business. If you want to be taken seriously, dress for success. That means you should look clean and neat, and wear shined shoes and clothes that fit well.

2. Speak better. The occasional colloquialism is OK, but if those are the only things that come out of your mouth, you could find yourself up for a role in the next season of Swamp People.

3. Know your stuff. Credibility starts with competency. Learn as much as you can from every verbal exchange. In my book, Accelerate the Sale: Kick-Start Your Personal Selling Style to Close More Sales, Faster, I asked executives about their greatest sale. The most frequent response I received? “My wife agreed to marry me.” (True story.) But the response that left the biggest impression on me was the guy who said, “My next one. Because I’ll know more, be able to do more and be able to help the customer more.” That’s a big idea.

4. Admit when you’ve erred. When you make a mistake, simply say, “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.” Then move on.

5. Channel Johnny Carson. Johnny Carson is one of my all-time favorite entertainers. When a guest would mention a piece of knowledge outside of Johnny’s realm, he didn’t try to take over the conversation or “one up” the guest. He simply said, “I did not know that.” That’s what I say now. You should, too.

6. Practice convergent validity. Make sure you have the correct information. Check with three different sources to get their take on a given situation. You’ll be shocked by how opinions vary. Doing this will help expand your network of contacts, better grasp the situation and make stronger decisions. And that, my friends, will give you greater credibility.

7. Guard your credibility. Your credibility is a precious commodity. Protect it with all you’ve got. Late in his baseball career, while playing injured, Joe DiMaggio still went all out during every at bat and every inning in the field. When a teammate said to him, “Hey, Joe, you’re hurt, take it easy,” Joe replied, “I can’t. There might be someone in the stands seeing me for the first time, and I don’t want to let them down.” Not a bad mindset for the rest of us.

Here’s to your credibility!

(Photo by Jared Erondu via Unsplash)

Why More Than One Point of View Is Critical to Persuasion Success

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The weather in Wisconsin is finally turning spring-like, and this past weekend’s 80-degree temperatures reminded me of a funny story about persuasion:

Although my wife and I enjoy fishing together, we are the antithesis of Bassmasters participants in that we fish from a pontoon boat complete with snacks and frequent naps. We basically put our living room on the water and call it sport. The one thing we do share with the pros is fancy “fish finder” technology. We, too, have one of these expensive black boxes that provide sonar‐created pictures of what’s under the boat.

Fast‐forward to a warm early-June morning as Amy piloted our pontoon living room through a tight channel on Wisconsin’s Whitewater Lake. While she kept a careful eye on the finder, I busied myself preparing the tackle for our day on the water. “Mark, we need to stop here,” Amy said excitedly, “I’ve never seen so many fish!”

“But we never fish here,” I growled like the character Quint in the movie Jaws, as I made my way to examine the sonar image.

It was an unbelievable sight. The underwater world around us was exploding with fish. Big fish, little fish and the most picturesque drop‐offs and covers. It was amazing. This was going to be a great day.

After two hours of fishless‐fishing we couldn’t understand what we were doing wrong. I studied the finder, still teeming with aquatic life.

We were fishing the simulation.

Yep, we had just spent two hours fishing the computer‐generated quintessential fishing paradise created by the marketing geniuses at Garmin!

All of which brings me to this: If you want to hear “yes” more often, you need to have the right “read” on the territory. To do that, practice convergent validity — that is, the idea of getting three points of view before you make a decision or take action. Don’t just take one customer’s viewpoint on your new product or service; get input from three customers. If there is a performance issue with your sales process, observe it for yourself, ask a customer about it and then go to someone else, too.

Trust me. The fishing will be better.

How Do You Know Your Persuasive Attempts Are Working?

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How can you tell whether you’re making persuasion progress with your target in such areas as trust and credibility?

Here’s how: Consistently observe the other person’s actions — or inactions — to determine the degree to which you’re winning him or her over.

Here are seven sure signs things are going your way:

  1. Your target volunteers information that is not requested.
  2. Your target shares humor.
  3. Your target accepts pushback and contrary views.
  4. Your target requests advice from you.
  5. Your target shares confidential information.
  6. Your target meets deadlines and respects financial limitations.
  7. Your target initiates friendly follow up and continued contact.

Now, keep things going!

Do You Know the ‘Principle of Nudge’?

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Persuasion is built on a series of small agreements, rather than one colossal, ear-shattering, cosmic “YES!!”

People often can be most effectively persuaded when shepherded along gently, not yanked through the streets. A great example comes not from a shepherd, but from my sister-in-law’s Goldendoodle, Lucky.

During one family gathering at my sister-in-law’s home, Lucky was particularly affectionate. He kept rubbing against me, looking for attention, which I happily gave him. After a few minutes, I realized I was no longer in the living room, but in the kitchen. When I mentioned my surprise at the change of venue, my sister-in-law, replied matter-of-factly, “He does that all the time. He brought you out here; this is where we keep his treats.”

Ah, the Principle of Nudge.

How might nudge work for you? Let’s say your persuasion priority is to convince your VP of marketing to allocate dollars and responsibility to you for a new product training initiative. Here’s an example of the series of small agreements you can elicit from your target:

  • “Yes, we can meet to talk about your idea.”
  • “Yes, I can provide information.”
  • “Yes, I can help brainstorm options.”
  • “Yes, I can talk to others in my circle to test the idea.”
  • “Yes, we can run some numbers.”
  • “Yes, we can pitch the board.”

Each yes slowly nudges your target toward the big one: “Yes, I’ll green-light the project.”

In most cases, you wouldn’t walk into your VP’s office and demand money and power (unless you have an absolutely monster credibility and track record, and even then I wouldn’t recommend it).

That’s like asking a person to marry you on the first date. You can, but it doesn’t make for good policy.

Why Consensus Is Overrated

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Sometimes the most compelling path to persuasion isn’t via group buy-in. In fact, dissension in the ranks can establish you as a bolder leader.

Leaders are paid to achieve results. Period. They often, therefore, must make tough decisions — decisions that others might shy away from or try to drown in a group setting. U.S. Army General Dwight D. Eisenhower didn’t call a meeting before launching the D-Day invasion of Europe, and US Airways pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III didn’t ask permission from the control tower prior to landing Flight 1549 in the Hudson River after geese disabled engine power.

In other words, leadership doesn’t happen by committee. When the situation warrants, you need to make the tough call. So the next time you’re in a meeting and consensus regarding your ask seems unforthcoming, be the voice of reason for the group and render a decision that you know will result in the right outcome.

You lead by creating results from which the majority will benefit — even if the majority doesn’t agree with you at that moment.

 

Why It’s OK To Use Literary License in Persuasion

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Everybody embellishes stories, at least a little bit. Like that time you told your colleagues who weren’t at the new-client meeting that everyone applauded after your presentation.

I’m here to tell you it’s okay to use literary license in the persuasive stories you tell your prospects. Slight exaggerations, the blending of separate events and the changing of particular details can be done for the benefit of a good cause: your pursuit of getting to “yes” faster.

Now, I’m not recommending you resort to outright lying. There’s a term we use for making up stories, and it’s called “fiction.” Don’t dabble in fiction, but remember that the term “literary license” grants you permission to stretch the truth. Use drama and emphasis to prove your points and make your case. You’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “If this isn’t a true story, it should be.” Make the stories you tell that good.

Here’s an example: “I remember one female customer who came into the store bathed in perfume, with makeup straight from a fashion runway and a leather jacket shinier than chrome.” (The woman may, indeed, have been dressed stylishly and appeared out of place in your store, but isn’t the way I describe her above immensely more memorable?)

No harm, no foul.

(Photo by Patrick Tomasso)